is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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