took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
