Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
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