4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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