I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
