4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
God I need to hump something, right now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
