Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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