The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize
