I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize