worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
