Me. At least after what I've been through.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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