How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
