Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That's how pantless uber rides happen
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
