Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Randomize
