We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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