Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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