I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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