I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize