I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
