Umm I'm too high to move.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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