if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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