I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
