doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Randomize