No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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