Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
