that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Alive.
So much puke
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
