Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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