Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
