so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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