yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Randomize
