White coat. Heels.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
