Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Swine flu is the new snow day.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
