are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
