Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
