I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
