I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
