I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
