but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
