Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
