Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize