i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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