I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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