You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
as a side note pls kill me
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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