I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
