oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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