I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
