I'd wear matching sweaters with you
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
