listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
