You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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