I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
