Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
