i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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