he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
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