I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My ass is underappreciated
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
