my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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