i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
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