You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I had to cum in my sink.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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