Plan B is the new Plan A
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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