made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize